11. Bad to Worse
For a time things went smoothly; Dikkerby returned to his
villa in Panama and sipped red wine while Madge developed an unfortunate habit
of eating local insects. She did not discriminate and would eat any insect,
with or without a sting. She could often be caught crunching guiltily on some
nasty little bug or other. Dikkerby ignored her.
Johnny, back at the school, just let Tracy get on with
it. And things seemed to be looking up. The buildings were filling up nicely
with a hand-picked selection of students with supportive parents. Yes, things
were going very nicely.
There was a knock on the study door. It was Elsie. She
came straight in.
“I do wish you’d wait till I ask you to come in.” Johnny
snarled, his dislike of the woman was evident.
“Another teacher died in ‘t classroom yesterday.” She
announced as she sat down.
“Don’t bother me with such trivial matters. Plenty more
down at the Job Centre. Get it sorted, woman. I know you’re a good guy, so get
on with it. Right?”
“Oh and the Chairman wants a meeting.”
“Barney? Why? When?”
There was another knock on the door and it swung open.
“This is a right bloody mess, Marjoram. A right bloody
mess.” Barney Williams swept in and put his cigar out on Marjoram’s bald head.
Johnny winced and wiped off the ash.
“I do wish you wouldn’t do that!”
“Sorry,” Barney apologised with utter insincerity. “Have
you heard?”
“Heard what?” Elsie and Johnny spoke together.
“Application’s fallen through, lad!”
“What?” Elsie and Johnny squealed together.
“That’s impossible,” said Johnny. “Tracy’s never failed.
Never.”
“Never,” added Elsie.
“Well, she’s reet cocked it up this time. Turns out she
knew nowt.”
“What’s he saying?” Johnny asked Elsie.
“It’s a disaster. Appen.” She looked up at the ceiling.
Silence fell about them
like a thick and welcome coat as they wrestled with their innermost thoughts.
Barney hadn’t yet told them the worst news; Dikkerby was on a flight from
Panama with Madge in tow at that very minute.
Johnny began to rock ever so slightly. Counselling and
lots of medication had kept him in a stable condition for months now, but the
blackness was returning. He could feel it closing in and beginning to engulf
him again.
“What are we going to do?”
“Dikkerby’s got a plan.”
“Oh no!” Elsie and Johnny wailed together in a brief
operatic duet.
Without any knock the door flew open and Dikkerby strode
masterfully in, followed by Madge who was staring covetously at a greenfly on
the spider plant in the corner.
Dikkerby stopped and glared at Johnny Marjoram for a
second or two. Johnny vacated the leather chair. Dikkerby sat down. Johnny
shambled over to a carpeted corner, hunkered down and began to rock
metronomically back and forth.
“Right. Cock up on the Free Academy School front. Been having
a bit of a thin. Never liked that Cove cove much anyway. Eyes too close
together. Not a man you could trust.” Suddenly Dikkerby stood up.
“Come on, you lot. We’ve got an important meeting to go
to. Madge!” Dikkerby glared at his wife, who was chewing steadily on the
remains of the greenfly.
They left Johnny in the corner. There didn’t seem to be
much point in taking him anywhere and he seemed almost content in his corner.
Outside they all piled into Dikkerby’s hire car, a green
Audi 6. After five minutes he pulled up at an old red brick building.
“But this is......” Barney Williams, Chairman of
Governors began.
“Bradshaw Hall
Grammar School. Quite right, Barney.” Dikkerby completed his sentence
for him.
“What are we doin ‘ere?” asked Elsie.
Dikkerby tapped the side of his nose. “Been talking on
the blower to the Headmistress. Charmin’ woman. Charmin’. Come along.”
And Dikkerby led his strange little party into Bradshaw
Hall Grammar School.
“Leave all the negotiating to me. Right?” Dikkerby hissed
the warning, even though there was not an “s” in sight.
An hour later most of the details had been thrashed out.
Dikkerby was tireless but smiling, pleased at his powers of wheeler dealing.
Miriam Bradshaw, the Headmistress, sat back.
“So, if I can sum up so far. You sell your school. Right?
“ Dikkerby’s group nodded. “You knock it all down and give us the money.
Right?” They nodded again. “We get all your pupils. Right?” They nodded once
more. “We get any fixtures and fittings, such as the computers and so forth and
you bring them all over to us. Right?” They nodded. “We put the name Dikkerby
before Bradshaw in our school name. Right?” They nodded. Madge had found a
woodlouse on the floor. Elsie’s stomach was rumbling and Barney had a round of
golf to get to. Dikkerby’s face was shining with pleasure.
“Well, that all seems fine so far. Now, what about the
teachers?” There was a knock at the door and Tracy “I’ve never failed”
Battersby stood in front of them.
“What’s she doin’ ‘ere?” Elsie blurted out.
“Ah, allow me introduce Miss Battersby, our new Chair of
Governors at Dikkerby Bradhsaw Grammar School. Thank you, Tracy.” Mrs Bradshaw
took a paper from her and watched her exit.
“Teachers?” Mrs Bradshaw gently reminded them.
“Do you want any of them?” Dikkerby was puzzled. Ever
since the 25% pay cut and cancelling of the pensions the teachers had been a
sorry lot. He couldn't imagine anyone wanting them.
“No, we have a fine body of staff here.”
“Well then we’ll sack them all.” Dikkerby was firm.
“Compensation?”
“We’re skint, so they can’t have any.”
“Excellent, Dikkerby. I think we understand one another
very well.” She stood up behind her table and reached out a hand. Dikkerby
stood and sealed the deal with a handshake.
Back in the car, Dikkerby was cock-a-hoop with his
success.
“So the school carries on. All our worries are over. Even
though I say it meself, I think I did pretty damn well there.”
“You were wonderful, Dikkerby. Wonderful.” Barney
Williams was smiling. “And Elsie’s got a job there. Brilliant.”
“I know. I am, aren’t I?” Dikkerby oozed smugness.
*
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